Parenting Adolescents
- It is scary parenting adolescents. My son is sixteen, and I am currently in this phase. You want to raise a well-rounded, self-sufficient child. Parents know we can not protect them from everything. We also know we have to loosen the string more and more as they get older. Imagine a kite; when you first learn how to fly a kite, it is close to you, and the better you get at it, the sting is not tight, and you let it fly higher.
Effectively balancing protection, limits, and freedom starts with a baseline of rules and trust. Communication is also vital; talk to your child and not at them. If your child trusts you, they will come to you when there are problems. Here are ten helpful tips that I read in an article on WebMD site
- Give kids some leeway. Giving teens a chance to establish their own identity, giving them more independence
- Choose your battles wisely. I no longer complain constantly about my son’s room being cleaned.
- Invite their friends for dinner and events
- Decide rules and discipline in advance; we discuss acceptable grades and consequences for the school year before school starts. When we go on vacations, we negotiate rules before we go
- Discuss ‘checking in.
- Talk to teens about risks. We discuss drugs, alcohol, drinking out of open containers, sex, and being alone with the opposite gender every time he goes to an event. Occasionally, I have him tell me the rules.
- Give teens a game plan. Help them figure out how to handle a potentially unsafe situation. Last week, I asked my son what he would do if the parents left the event.
- Keep the door open. Please share a few things about your day; ask about theirs. How was the party? Did you have fun? How was your day? Another good line: “You may not feel like discussing what happened right now. I know what that is like. However, if you feel like discussing it later, you come to me.
- Let kids feel guilty. People should feel bad if they have hurt someone or done something wrong. Kids need to feel bad sometimes. Guilt is a healthy emotion. When kids have done something wrong, we hope they feel bad (Davis, 2003).
- Be a role model. Your actions — even more than your words — are critical in helping teens adopt good moral and ethical standards (Davis, 2003).
Question: How would a child’s coping skills and adaptability be if their parents kept them sheltered?
Sample Answer
A child raised in a sheltered environment would likely have underdeveloped coping skills and adaptability. Here’s why:
- Limited Exposure to Challenges: Sheltered children wouldn’t have opportunities to face and overcome everyday challenges. This limits their ability to develop problem-solving skills, decision-making abilities, and resilience.
- Lack of Independence: Restricted freedom hinders the development of self-reliance and confidence in managing their own lives.