Assess the influence of communication on our own mindset and how to influences our relationships with others. We always have a choice in how we communicate and respond to others. This TedTalk dives into this notion and reflects on the impact of those choices.
Tasks
First, take 18-minutes to watch Louise Evan's TedTalk, Own Your Behaviors, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success. I encourage you to read the reflection questions below BEFORE watching the video so you can be thinking about your answers while watching.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BZuWrdC-9Q
Next, in a 200-300 word post, please answer the following reflection questions:
Think about your communication behaviors in the professional environment or college setting. Explore which chair you typically revert to when you're challenged by others.
. Why do you think you revert to this chair?
. Which chair do you think would better help you achieve your goals in a more effective way in the professional environment?
Full Answer Section
Evans identifies four chairs that we can sit in when communicating with others:
- The victim chair: This is the chair of blame and resentment. When we sit in this chair, we see ourselves as powerless and at the mercy of others. We blame others for our problems and feel sorry for ourselves.
- The rescuer chair: This is the chair of control and perfectionism. When we sit in this chair, we try to control others and fix their problems. We feel like we have to be perfect and do everything ourselves.
- The judge chair: This is the chair of criticism and judgment. When we sit in this chair, we see others as wrong and ourselves as right. We judge others and make them feel bad about themselves.
- The creator chair: This is the chair of choice and possibility. When we sit in this chair, we see ourselves as powerful and in control of our own destiny. We choose how we want to respond to others and we focus on solutions.
Evans argues that the creator chair is the most effective chair for communication. When we sit in this chair, we are open to feedback, we listen to others with empathy, and we are able to find solutions that work for everyone involved. We are also more likely to achieve our goals and build strong relationships with others.
My Communication Behaviors in the Professional Environment
I think I typically revert to the victim chair when I'm challenged by others in the professional environment. This is because I sometimes feel like I don't have enough power or control in my work environment. I also sometimes feel like I'm not good enough or that I don't belong. When I'm in the victim chair, I tend to blame others for my problems and feel sorry for myself. I also tend to withdraw from conflict and avoid taking risks.
Why I Think I Revert to This Chair
I think I revert to the victim chair for a few reasons. First, I come from a family where I was often blamed for things that weren't my fault. This taught me to see myself as a victim and to blame others for my problems. Second, I have a tendency to be hard on myself and to set unrealistic expectations for myself. This can lead me to feel like I'm not good enough and that I'm always failing. Finally, I sometimes feel like I don't have enough power or control in my work environment. This can make me feel like a victim and like I'm at the mercy of others.
Which Chair Would Better Help Me Achieve My Goals in a More Effective Way in the Professional Environment?
I think the creator chair would better help me achieve my goals in a more effective way in the professional environment. When I sit in the creator chair, I am open to feedback, I listen to others with empathy, and I am able to find solutions that work for everyone involved. I am also more likely to take risks and to achieve my goals.
I think the creator chair would be a more effective chair for me because it would allow me to take control of my own destiny and to achieve my goals. It would also allow me to build strong relationships with others and to create a more positive work environment.
I am committed to working on shifting my communication style from the victim chair to the creator chair. I know that this will take time and effort, but I believe it is worth it. I want to be able to communicate effectively and to achieve my goals in a more effective way. I also want to build strong relationships with others and to create a more positive work environment.