Child and family’s concept of death and dying.

analyze child and family’s concept of death and dying. (CLC1a)

In addition to your CCLS duties at your local hospital, you also write a Child Life advice column for the Towne Journal. Riley, an 8-year-old, has terminal cancer. Her mother, Mrs. Rainey, is constantly at her side and writes to you with a concern. She and her husband have two other children at home, a 12-year-old and a 4-year-old. Mrs. Rainey asks you for suggestions on how to talk to them about Riley’s imminent death. What suggestions can you provide?

Respond to Mrs. Rainey’s letter in the format of a newspaper column. Give her three suggestions for handling this difficult time, keeping in mind the developmental stage of each child, and support these suggestions with evidence from the literature. Also, because parents are often emotionally distant when they lose a child, find a local family bereavement support group the Rainey’s can attend and include the contact information in your article.

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Sample Answer

 

 

 

Dear Mrs. Rainey,

My heart aches for you and your family as you navigate this incredibly difficult time. Having these conversations with your children about Riley’s illness is a daunting task, but open and honest communication is crucial. Here are some suggestions tailored to each child’s developmental stage, drawing on insights from research:

1. Age-Appropriate Honesty with the 12-Year-Old:

  • Direct Communication: Studies by Vered et al. (2003) show that pre-teens appreciate honesty and can handle difficult conversations. Sit down with your 12-year-old and explain Riley’s illness in a clear and truthful way. Use developmentally appropriate language, avoiding medical jargon, and answer any questions they may have openly.

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  • Encourage Expression: As Juang & James (2017) suggest, create a safe space for your child to express their emotions. Validate their feelings, whether it’s sadness, anger, or confusion. Let them know it’s okay to cry or ask questions.
  • Involving Them in Riley’s Care: If appropriate, explore ways the 12-year-old can be involved in Riley’s care, such as reading stories or playing games. This fosters a sense of agency and strengthens their bond.

2. Open Communication with the 4-Year-Old:

  • Simple Language: Use simple, concrete terms to explain Riley’s illness. You can say something like, “Riley’s body is very sick right now, and the doctors are doing everything they can to help her feel better.”
  • Honesty with a Positive Spin: While being honest, you can offer a hopeful outlook. For example, “Even though Riley might not be able to play as much, we’ll still find ways to have fun together.”
  • Answering Questions Simply: Young children often repeat questions. Answer them patiently and simply, focusing on the present moment rather than the future.

3. Supporting Your Emotional Needs:

It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and emotionally distant during this time. Taking care of yourself is vital for being present for your children. Consider joining a family bereavement support group. The Towne Family Center offers a group that meets every Wednesday at 7 pm. You can reach them at (555) 555-5555. Support groups provide a safe space to connect with others who understand your journey and offer emotional support.

Remember, there’s no single “right” way to have these conversations. The most important thing is to be honest, open, and create a space for your children to express their feelings.

With empathy,

Claire, Child Life Specialist

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